Sometimes I forget people don't know Ron is a real person we're making fun of in this series. Granted, he deserves it, as you'll soon learn. We've been making random "Ron" movies for a little while now, even though the majority of them are not uploaded here, and there's quite a few inside jokes. Luckily, many of the inside jokes work well in the Game Ranger series since they're funny in the movies even if you don't know anything about the real Ron.

I figure it's time to shed a little light on all of this "Who is Ron?" questioning I often get. So...here's the story of Ron:

It's June of the year 1995 and I just turned 14 the previous September (1994). The Internet is still something new and my computer is a blazing fast 75MHrz Pentium with a smoking quick 28.8kb/ps dial-up modem. Wyldfyre1 (from here on out just called Wyldfyre) and I had been friends for quite some already and introduced me to a chatline at a place called Chatalyst. One of the chatrooms was a free-form roleplaying room called The Zocalo. I guess it was actually supposed to be a place for sci-fi chat since it was named after the cafe on Babylon 5, but no one gave a damn. I had been doing free-form roleplaying on a chatline from the CCN called The Red Dragon Inn...which is funny, because CCN was a "Christian Chat Network"...but I never knew that and hardly anyone else did who went there as well. I also had a "bitchin'" Geocities website with a whole 3MB of space!

So, I get into the chatline and immediately start playing my character "Freedan, the Sunrie" and he playing "Wyldfyre Knight". Now you know where we got the handles from as well. The chatting was good, the players were cool, and the group eventually expanded so much we ended up with the "Chatalyst Knights" as a player group and had many free-form "adventures" with everyone else who chatted in that room.

Fast forward two years and suddenly a new person appears. The handle? "Knight Killer King" aka the KKK. Yes, he straight up said he was the KKK. This was actually the very first troll for the chatline in over two years. He couldn't figure out the 10-key code to replicate our special character after the name, so he would make random ones. He didn't so much as actually role play as he would state things such as, "*...and grabs you by the back of your neck, forcing his dick down your throat and pissing like crazy because you're a fucking faggot*" Never mind he's the one claiming to shove his dick down someone's throat... He continued to do this every single day for hours on end, even when no one was talking to him or acknowledging his presence.

Well, remember, this is the time when the Internet was still young and most people weren't very smart in the way things worked. I obtained his IP address, did a reverse look up, found out his provider, then linked it back to his father's account. From that, I was able to learn who HE was, since he doesn't have any brothers or sisters. His name is Ron Allen Saiver and lived in Washington at the time. Since I had all the information, I also was able to obtain his home phone number and I posted it. Many, many, many people began to spam fuck his home phone line with auto-dialers from their computer and blocking their own numbers from being retrievable.

Being as stupid as he was, he created a website of his own...and posted pictures of himself. Remember the fat star wars kid? Think of a slightly skinnier version of that and a receding hairline. Now picture him trying to crouch for a webcam while holding 2 Yahoo!Shops quality stainless steel katanas as if trying to pose like Miyamato Musashi. No, I'm not kidding. True or not, this guy would post up his entire life. This all before blogging was big even! According to him, he used to work at Burger King, but quit, and then was a security guard...but was fired... I don't know how you really accomplish all that by the age of 17, but he managed to do it!

With the help of a friend, who I will not name, I managed to put a trojan on his computer allowing me not only view all files on his computer, but reset it or shut it off any time I wanted. Each time he got online, I was sent a message, "Master, I'm online...here's my IP address!" with the IP address posted after that sentence. Well...Wyldfyre, Maximus2142, and a few other friends, whom are not on Newgrounds, were all looking through his files. He always claimed he had his own computer, so everything we found on this hard drive then was, according to him, obviously things he kept. We found CP. Yes, kiddie porn...and quite a bit of it. So, not only did we wipe his HD of everything except for Windows and the slave program, but we also reported him anonymously. I don't know what came of the report, but from what I can tell, he never was arrested, but we did our part.

Well, life goes on, I forget about him, joined the Army, served my time, and decided I didn't want to go career. I get a message from one of my old chatline friends who tell me to check my Geocities page. I forget I even had it, and was surprised to hear it was even up given it had been a solid 5 years since I even logged into the account. What did I see? Every day, for four years, this dumb ass had gone on to my message book (remember those?) and left all kinds of insults and slander. I couldn't help except for laugh. He even put his chatline handle and his first name on each post. I'm not kidding when I say every day and multiple times per day. Up to seven times each day he posted on there. I don't know how or why he thought I would be on there to check it...who knows?

Oh, but it gets better...he has a new website, since the newly named Yahoo!Geocities says they are closing down. On this new website, he has made up a story that I am suing him and taking him to the TV show The People's Court. Yeah...exactly. It not only didn't have my full, real name on it, it was dated during a time I was over seas in a sand country. When I was supposed to have had the time during operations to file this alleged lawsuit and appear when I wasn't even allowed to tell my parents where I was is a mystery to me. Again, I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.

I once again left it all alone, thinking what a loser Ron was, took care of the family business as the head of advertising/marketing, then put myself through the police academy graduating #1 over 57 cadets. I go do my thing, only talking to Wyldfyre and Maximus2142 out of all the people who used to go to the chatlines, since I knew them in real life anyway.

Over the years Ron had gained a few convoluting trolls. Their names are Willow and Templar. How I found out about this is because I was invited to a chatline friend's website where he had a message board which didn't require sign up. It was really more of a very old school BBS rather than the structured forums we have now. I couldn't believe it...Ron had gone from the Chatalyst, which was now closed down, to this website! A lot of people from the chatline migrated there after it closed since they could still post back and forth to each other. I go on, say hello to everyone, and then I don't post again. About three months later I get an e-mail asking me when the last time I had been there was. I tell her, and she tells me I really need to read the site again. I do so and was amazed. Not only is this now damn near ten years after Ron made his first appearance, but he's still at it...doing the same damn thing! This mother fucker is almost 30 and he's still acting that way.

What happened is he reposted my note to everyone but changed everything around to be homosexual and what not. Again, I didn't care and just thought it was sad, and kind of funny he was still such a loser. He even posted how he finally got a job...at a Jack in the Box. Me? Between working the force and the family business, I was living in a private condo in the Rocky Mountains over looking a lake. Besides Ron, there were two new faces joining in on the act. Those two were...yea, I mentioned it, Willow and Templar. Turns out Willow really was her name. She actually lived not far from where I used to when I was in Southern California. Templar was basically Ron's butt buddy. They weren't the same person, we made sure, but every time Ron did or said anything, Templar was there bending over and waving the pom-poms. Remember when I said I didn't post in three months? Well, those three continued to act as if I was still around, because they got on some kind of kick and just kept going with it. One of them, not sure which, tried to impersonate me, but failed getting the tripcode correct, and a few of the much less intelligent people, thought I had actually posted one of the thing they did. I don't remember...something about one of the other former chatters having three abortions or something strange...don't ask.

I didn't even bother posting and never went back. Wyldfyre and Maximus tell me they have a program called Swish and they can make movies on it. At this point I had already started to teach myself to use Flash MX as well. They showed me the first ever "Adventures of Ron". It was a crude animation, not uploaded here, showing Ron meeting his greatest hero...Michael Jackson at Disneyland. Several other movies were made, and I decided to try my hand on it. So, I made "The Adventures of Ron: Donkeyball Z". This was the first time I attempted to make an actual movie and it was also the first time we made a script. Again, it was a crude animation using cut outs instead of actual animation or even sprites. I didn't really know what I was doing, and it shows quite a bit, but it was still funny. After that, Wyldfyre and Maximus2142 made a few more, as well as other people sending in their fan made Adventures of Ron, and I made "The Great Gimpkin, Ronny Brown".

Fast forward a bit again, and now comes the time when I learn how to actually animate sprites. I still don't really know what I'm doing in the program...again this can be seen...but Game Ranger scores very, very well and now I'm pumped up. While making "Phoenix Wrong: Inspired Justice", I learn a few animation tricks and apply them to Game Ranger 2. Again, Game Ranger 2 does very well, even better than the first, so I decided to remake the original Game Ranger. Game Ranger EX scores even better right off the bat, so I start in on Game Ranger 3....which gets me my first trophy, which is a Daily 4th. Go me!

Now we're on Game Ranger 4, I'm an EMT working on getting into Med School, and you know the full backstory of the actual Ron. Now that you have more insight into everything, especially knowing Ron is a real person, hopefully things will be even funnier for you.

----

Cast (Alphabetical Character Order):

Aku - ShockDingo

Blinky - Seshido

Claude - Clovis15

Crono - KTRecords

Fat Fairy - Druids-Warcry

Inky - KTRecords

Janus/Magus - Laserkid

Kinto - Sunrie (me)

Komori - LuccaComet

Ms Pac-man - Courtney Dias-Oakry

Naruki - Adidaas

Pac-man - Wyldfyre1

Pinky - Emily

Princess Willow - LuccaComet

Richter Belmont - KTRecords

Ron - Maximus2142

Spekkio - Sunrie (me)

Subarashii - Seshido

Washi - VaughnJohnson2000

Yep! Big cast and high quality cast. Honestly, I can't wait to be finished. Every song, except the intro, is straight from the Newgrounds Audio Portal. When you see the intro, which is skippable, but I don't suggest you do, you'll understand why I didn't go with an Audio Portal song.

Here's a nice little preview still of the intro. Bonus points if you know what the pic details for the intro I'm mimicing...Wyldfyre, Maximus2142, Laserkid, and Clovis15...you guys don't get to play! You already know. ;)